Thieves

[misi]

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator," he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

 

[misi]

Beer does that...

Scientists suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 50 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the men: talked excessively without making sense; became overly emotional; couldn't drive; failed to think rationally; argued over nothing; had to sit down while urinating; and refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.

 

[misi]

Stuffed sex

There is no centralized advertising standard authority in the United States issuing adjudications on issues of taste and decency for print advertising. Instead there are separate industry organization that publish advertising codes of standard the adherence to which is voluntary.
The use of stuffed animals for any product not marketed to children is generally discouraged.
Consequently, the original poster for Roger Avary’s 2002 film Rules of Attraction depicting copulating toys was considered offensive and obscene and was banned in the United States.
In Great Britain and Canada the use of the poster was allowed.