2006 AFL Season in doubt.

[biggles]

Looks like NO FOOTY TIPS for 2006!!!

Prior Notice

It is likely that the AFL competition for 2006 will have to be cancelled.

Under the new Anti Terrorism Laws the Bombers are banned, the new
Industrial Relations legislation rules out the Dockers and the Asian flu
epidemic is wreaking havoc with the Crows, Eagles, Hawks, Magpies and
Swans.

Any transfers to the Kangaroos, Cats, Lions, Dogs and Tigers must now be

quarantined for at least 12 months. Religious vilification laws mean

that no one can legally barrack for the Demons or the Saints.

This only leaves the Power and the Blues who no one wants to barrack for
anyway.

 

[misi]

Blonde

I Want to Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

 

[misi]

Satan visits the church

Satan visits the church

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

 

[misi]

Marriage? No!

An organization that makes men fear marriage

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.

The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.